For some singles, having a Friend with Benefits is a great option. Whatever your reasons how you go about doing it can make a big difference. Following a few ‘rules’ can help not only the success of the relationship but also your peace of mind.
Here are a few things to remember if you decide that a friend with benefits is right for you.
Find someone you can trust.
If it’s just about sex, why do you need to trust the other person? This is not only a matter of health and protecting yourself against anything nasty. You are making yourself vulnerable to the other person when you have sex, even if it is only the once.
You need to know that you are safe with the other person.
Set the boundaries.
Any relationship needs boundaries and a friend with benefits should be no different. In fact it’s probably more important. Knowing where you stand at all times gives you both the freedom to enjoy each others company. You don’t want to be questioning what is going to (or might) happen next.
Boundaries do not only apply in the bedroom when you have a friend with benefits. There might be times when you need to impose limits on communication . Getting everything out in the open from the start saves any disappointment later.
Start as you mean to go on.
A friend with benefits is often easier than a ‘standard’ relationship. It can be more complicated if the boundaries have not been set.
If you start with constant and regular messages and calls it may become an expectation . If you do not intend to do this then just don’t start! A sudden drop in communication is likely to leave the other person feeling a little miffed. This could put a swift end to the friendship.
Okay, so we are not talking committed relationship here so why do you need honesty?
You both need to know where you stand. The only way to make this clear is to be honest with each other.
If you only want one night together then say so.
If the one night wasn’t what you thought it would be, then say so.
If you think you want more than you originally planned, guess what? YOU NEED TO SAY SO!
Can you imagine how you would feel if your friend thought you didn’t want them anymore? Don’t go cold when what you really want is to spend more time with them?
Keeping things bottled up is not healthy for either of you. Get it out in the open as soon as you can and then deal with it.
Life is too short to regret your decisions. So what if your night of passion wasn’t what you thought it would be? You should never regret anything you do in life. Everything we do is for a reason, a lesson to learn and grow from. Even if you decide that a friend with benefits actually isn’t for you, you have tried it and now you know.
These are just some basic things to think about when enjoying the benefits of a friend. Can you suggest any more?