Looking in the Texting Black Hole.

 

Black hole
Hello, is there anybody out there?

There is a good chance that, at some point during dating, you will meet someone that you think you really connect with. You spend hours on the phone, texting and calling until you finally manage to get together and meet up.

The ‘date’ seems to go really well and the parting words are encouraging, you even get a text later or the next day. You send a text over the next day or two and what do you get back? Tumbleweeds, nothing, nada!

What is going on?

What has changed in 24/48 hours?

The short answer is….you may never know, but here are some of the more common reasons for the tumbleweeds and the one thing you can do about it.

It was only ever meant to be the one night.

While this is probably not what you want to hear, it is the most obvious answer. All this means is that they have not been completely honest with you.

If you sit back and really think about it, do you want someone like this in your life? Probably not.

While you may want to know what the problem is can you be sure that you will get an honest answer, if you get an answer at all?

They are just not ready for any kind of relationship.

It doesn’t matter if they told you they are looking for the love of their life or a ‘friend with benefits’, if they are not ready to handle it then it’s better to walk away.

Whether it’s past relationships or something from their childhood, many people feel that they are just not ready for any level of commitment.

You might feel that you can help them to overcome any hurt from the past, if only they would let you, but the truth is you can’t. They have to be ready to fix themselves and find their own way of doing it.

Fear.

It doesn’t matter how big and brave they appear to be, some people are simply scared of their feelings and the thought of showing how they feel to others is just terrifying!

This is usually common with people who have been hurt badly in the past, a wall is built to protect themselves. This is a natural reaction, which I have done and still do.

The human body is a fantastic machine which serves to not only give us life but to also protect us both physically and mentally. Unfortunately many of us refuse to listen to the signals and we just keep making the same mistakes and repeatedly getting hurt.

The irony with this situation is that it is increasingly easy to miss the opportunity to be truly happy!

What to do about the Tumbleweeds.

Closing the door
Keep out the Tumbleweeds.

The temptation is often to keep trying, I know as I have been there before and I’m there again! (Yeah I really should know better!). While this may not be a bad thing for a while there has to come a point where you take the hint. For whatever reason they are just not interested, or maybe they are but don’t have the balls to say so.

The only thing you can do about the tumbleweeds is to shut them out! Close the door and move on. You don’t necessarily have to lock the door, just firmly close it and leave it to them to open it again. You then have option to lock it at a later date, let them through the door or to slam it in their face (harsh I know but hey).

Whatever you decide to do you should always remember to take care of you first and a big part of self-care is self-respect.

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